Tales from the crib....

So for some reason, Little Dude B has been particularly "talkative" during his regular nap-time this week. Typically, he still takes a 2-3 hour nap each afternoon...which is FAB! This week however, he has been perfectly content to lie in his self-crafted nest and converse with...???....his toys? the wall? the closet door? Or perhaps, he has come to the conclusion that mama needs some entertainment during her hour "off" via some good ole' fashioned baby monitor fun.

Without further ado....I share with you, Tales from the Crib (a.k.a. crazy stuff I heard my two year old gabbing about this week while he was supposed to be sleeping).  I promise you, I am totally legit with all of these....couldn't make them up....I'm not that creative

1) A full out medley of Taylor Swift's greatest hits (I know....I know....). His best renditions? "Never Getting Back Together" and "Trouble". Clear as a bell on the ol' Graco monitor.

2) "Well hellooooo Diney! Helloooo Diney....." Imagine it to the tune of Hello Dollie. Yep. That went on for about 20 minutes. (Oh, and Diney is his stuffed dinosaur....again, not that creative around here...)

3) "MINE! No! MINE! My night-night!!!" Not gonna lie, this one concerned me a bit. Because either there is a mystery intruder in his room that is fighting him for his miniature quilt, or he has a split personality. I verified that there was no one in his room....hmmmm....maybe that 529 plan would be better set aside for future therapy bills.

4) "Yaaaaay! I'm pooping! Yaaaaaay!!!" Super excited to change that post-nap dipe.

5)  "I'm DONE! I'm DONE! I'm DONE!" Yeah....rethinking that whole letting him watch "Dance Moms" with me thing. Hey, don't judge.....

And now, exactly 2 minute before I am supposed to get him up for the afternoon, there is pure, serene silence. Of course there is Murphy, of course there is.

Happy Friday All!!

A letter to Little Dude B on his 2nd Birthday....

Dearest Little Dude "B",

Today at 6:27pm, I cried. You didn't know it, but as I kissed your sweet blond head, the tears welled up and rolled warm down my cheeks. Why? Because two years ago, at that exact moment, I held you in my arms for the first time and looked into those kind, honest eyes of yours and made the unspoken promise to hold your hand and your heart in mine, each and every day. But today, as you climbed your way on top of the cooler at your birthday party to get yourself a snack from the buffet table...all by yourself....I saw independence. I saw confidence. I saw growth. I saw all of the things that every parent wants for their child (even if it does make us a little sad). And, my dear, I was so very proud of you.

At two, you are still a bit oblivious to the finer points of Birthday parties. As you will learn as you get older, I get a little crazy over these events. Love it or hate it, I promise to make each birthday a day you won't forget. Today, I made the realization that throwing elaborate birthday parties is my own little way of distracting myself from the fact that no matter how hard I try to bonsai you and your sister, you just keep getting older. Sigh.... But whether or not you fully “got” how to open your gifts or master the party games today, I knew that you “knew” it was your special day. Your innocent face was simply radiating joy. You knew we were all here to celebrate you. You knew (I hope) just how very much you are loved. And that, is what birthdays are all about.

In the past year, you have grown so very much. Not just in dramatic physical changes that occur from age 1 to age 2, but in so many other ways as well. You are so very curious. There is no corner, no nook, no cranny that goes unexplored when you are around. And so smart...learning so much and so excited about your new found skills. You are speaking so well. There are no sweeter words than those you say to me as I put you to bed each night....”I love you mama....Night, Night.” Sweet simplicity. But I do believe that when I am old and gray, I will hear those words each night when I lay my head to rest and think about just how lucky I have been to have you as my son.

You received so many “boy” toys today....trucks, dinosaurs, trains, etc. And I love how much fun you have driving and banging and “rawring”...you know, the boy stuff. But I adore the way you run to me when I am caring for your sister who just got a boo-boo. You ask her if she is OK and don't leave her side until you know she is alright. You give kisses to your new stuffed dino from Nanny before you lay your own head down after a long and exhausting day. You show me once again that you have a heart of pure gold....and that will bring you many blessings in this life my love. I promise you that.

So, yes. I cried today at exactly 6:27pm as I kissed that sweet blond head of yours. And I probably will each and every year on August 3^rd. For that will always be the moment when your beautiful soul joined this little family of ours. The moment when I first met the tiny creature that will undoubtedly grow into a man strong in ability and strong in character.

But for now, you are two. Drive, crash, bang, and “rawr” all you can little man. Remember, I will be by your side, holding your hand and your heart in mine, each and every day.

I love you to the moon and back... infinity times.

XOXOXO,

Mommy

Fabulous Four!!

(This post was originally published on 7/8/13 on www.westvalleymomsblog.com)

They say that as your children get older, you appreciate each and every stage in it’s own unique way. Obviously, the newborn stage is glorious for the pure awe you have of that little creature that curls so perfectly into your arms and the sheer pride you have in yourself for producing such a perfect being. The infant months are spent hanging on every “first” your little love has….first smile, first roll, first crawl…..you get the picture. At one, you are celebrating the fact that you have managed to keep your tiny human happy, healthy, and alive for 12 whole months – go you!! Although, chances are, you cannot imagine your family without them.

And then, two comes along…..the dreaded “terrible twos.” You have heard about them for as long as you can remember and as that 2nd birthday approached, you cringed with each whimper, cry, or tantrum, thinking, “Is this it? Have we arrived at the terrible two’s?”  (Trust me, my youngest turns two next month….I am on high alert for sure) Now, I know I can’t speak for all mamas out there, but I can certainly speak from my own experience when I say, that with my oldest, Sweet R, two was definitely challenging….but mainly because this is the year she found her voice. She not only learned how to tell me what she wanted, but also learned to tell me, very loudly, what she didn’t want. And although it had its moments, I think I spent more time rejoicing in her newly acquired skills that year, than finding ways to deter them.

But then came three….oh three. No one warns you about this one, but for us, it was a doozie. Not only was her voice loud and clear, but she also discovered the elements of sass, whining, and total devastation at the slightest change in plans. Yikes…. Sufficient to say, we honed our discipline skills, our patience skills, and our just-try-to-keep-sane-at-any-cost skills. We muddled through and took  more photos of her dress-up shenanigans, her silly faces, and her joyful moments that we can count…but I will admit, it took a concentrated effort to focus on the good some days.

But then, like magic, we turned a corner. She turned 4 on May 12th of this year and it was as though a fog had lifted. Now, don’t get me wrong, we still have “those days”, but I will scream from the rooftops, that 4 is my new favorite age!!! Her interest and curiosity in everything around her is inspiring to me (even despite the constant flow of questions). The conversations we have about our day when I tuck her into bed at night melt my heart. The care and affection she shows toward her baby brother warms my soul on a daily basis. She is funny…and I mean REALLY funny. Her personality and sense of humor has taken flight and I feel as though I am getting a glimpse into the person she will be 20 years from now….and I like it. I am proud of it. Four, has made me feel as though I have done a good job as a mama so far….at three, I had some doubts.

So, yes, I LOVE Four!!! It is indeed fabulous!!! So hang in there mamas who are muddling through the two’s and three’s….it get’s better real soon. And when it does, it is Oh So Good!!!

A shift of the wind...

On days like today, I am once again reminded just how fleeting the time can be.

As most have heard by now, right here in my own backyard, just about 75 miles from my own home,  we lost 19 brave firefighters last night. At the hands of Mother Nature, their lives were taken and the lives of their loved ones will never be the same. Sure, the career itself has its inherent risks, but that surely does not dull the pain that must certainly be felt when that phone call comes.

Patience has never been my strong suite. As I watched my 4 year old daughter today, painstakingly writing a Happy 4th of July card to her grandfather, I felt my self growing impatient. I wanted to take the pencil from her and help her write the words she so desperately wanted to write on her own. And sadly, 24 hours ago, I may have done just that....seems shameful to admit. But this afternoon, it was different.

These moments, the ones that can seem so mundane and so ordinary, are the ones that would be most missed. These glimpses into my everyday world and the moments that I spend with my little ones as they discover their capabilities in this world....they are irreplaceable. And try as I might to preserve them at just the size and deliciousness that they are....these days are fleeting. For 19 families, they have disappeared far too quickly.

To those families, as well as my own, I vow to be more patient. To not long for anything to move more quickly than it should. Time is simply too precious to wish away.

This post is not intended to be a "downer"....although on a dark day like today, it may be easy to confuse. Rather it is an affirmation to myself, and all of you, to do your best to settle in to your everyday moments. They may not all be thoroughly enjoyable and packed with eternal bliss, but they are merely moments. They may be munday, but they are never to be repeated, no matter how routine they may be. Each is tinged with individuality and unique beauty.  And, as we have been reminded once more today, those moments can become mere memories with a simple shift of the winds.

So, take a metaphorical photograph of your "world" today....and then hug each of those creatures in it, just a little bit tighter and a whole lot longer. The moments, they may be fleeting, but the love....now that is enduring.

Riding the wave of a Pinterest high

It is summer in Phoenix....it is hot. Way too hot to do much outside between the hours of 9am and 6pm....unless of course, it involves copious amounts of water. Coincidentally, summer in Phoenix also means that it is a full house here during the day. Preschool is out for the break which means I have an over-eager four year old nipping at my heels all day just waiting for the next scheduled "activity time." Indoors of course....

Enter this mamas current BFF....."Pinterest." I know most of you are probably already on it, but if not, seriously?!!? Jump on that wagon today...like now....go.....now....

I will admit openly, that I am a bit overambitious in my Pinterest life. I have multiple-thousands of "pins" ready and waiting for me to tackle them. And I am willing to make a pretty steep wager that I will complete approximately 0.0047% of them by the time Pinterest is a thing of the past. But, on days like today, I am feeling quite accomplished in my pretend Martha Stewart/Bobby Flay/Mary Poppins inspire life.

Behold.....the melted bead sun catcher.

Take some dollar store plastic beads, pop em in some muffin tins (or any size non-stick pan really) in the oven at 400 degrees for about 20 minutes and let them cool. Turn said pan over and Wha La.....a melted bead sun catcher! Obviously I used some fishing wire and an old dowel to turn mine into a little mobile, but you could do whatever. Sweet R insisted that if we hung hers in her room, it would help her "dream better" at nap time (hence the weird, kid-in-a-bed photo above). I claim no credibility on that part....by the sounds of the tiny feet running in circles above me, I think it is pretty safe to say, there is no magical dreaming power to be had here. Maybe if I had sprung for the beads at the craft store instead, it would be a different story eh?

Anywho, a Pinterest success is a major achievement and sadly, these days, that equals a little, mini, mama-high for me. I will ride it out all day long....or at lease the rest of nap time.

Thank you all for indulging me! :)

Boy Parts

I'll be 110% honest with you all....when I found out that my second baby had boy parts....I was kinda crushed. I know, most people dream of one boy and one girl and a happily ever after. But boy parts scared me....a lot.  Baby boys were pretty much unheard of on my side of the gene pool until Little Dude B showed his, eh hem...parts. I have one sister. My mom had one sister. My grandma had 2 sisters....and so on pretty much all the way up the family tree. I just had to be different didn't I? Always the attention seeker.

Why was I crushed? After all, he appeared to be perfectly healthy and happy all snuggled up in my womb. And lord knows, the hubs was THRILLED that there would be more boy parts in the house....even our male dog is neutered. I was crushed because I thought that there was absolutely NO WAY that a little boy would want to cuddle with his mama as much as a little girl. I thought he would be all about exploring the great wide open and have no time for sad little mama sniffling as he took his first steps...away from me. I couldn't imagine a little boy snuggling his face into the curve of my neck when he was scared and needed to find his courage. Only little girls do those things right?

Oh so very wrong....again.

My little man has been the initiator of FAR more cuddle sessions over his nearly 2 years thus far than his 4 year old sister has ever been. He clings to me when he is in unfamiliar surroundings and always looks to me for support and approval when he branches out to try something new.  He looks back often...and I kinda love it. And I have felt his warm breath against that curve in my neck so many times that I can almost summon it at will....even when he is not near me.

This morning was our first round of dual swim lessons. He is still in the Mommy and Me level while Sweet R is in the Teacher Only class. While I can honestly say that I am equally proud of my kiddos for the efforts they put out this morning, I think I also had a glimpse into our future. The Summer 2030 Olympics may very well be dominated by that little girl currently not napping upstairs (I can hear her running laps in her room...), and I think that her little brother will be there cheering her on.....from my lap. Alright, that may be a bit extreme....and would admittedly be weird (although I would secretly love it), but this morning, that tiny child of mine used all 23 of his pounds to cling to my neck and not look once at the rest of his swim-class mates. He didn't scream. He didn't fight it. He just clung to my neck for dear life and sobbed quietly as we sang all sorts of toddler songs off-key and bounced up and down in a lovely water circle.

Sweet R....you know, my daughter....was off and jumping into her teacher's arms (whom she had met approximately 27 seconds earlier)...without a passing thought of glancing over her shoulder.

So there you have it. Boy Parts most certainly do not mean less of a need for mama. In fact, in our case, just the opposite. I think back and I feel so guilty for having any sort of pregnancy gender disappointment. But I am pretty sure I am not the only one who has been there.

And I am also fairly certain that the vast majority of us who have been there, look at our beautiful families as they are today and can imagine it no other way....

Recipe: Yogurt and Kale Popsicles

Yes, you read that correctly....yogurt and KALE Popsicles. Gone are the days when a green Popsicle automatically meant artificial lime flavor (which by the way, was pretty much always my favorite...). These days, the green can be brought to you by one of the current "cool kids" at the produce stand...KALE!!!

Stick with me on this one and then let your kiddos be the deciding vote. After all, it is HOT outside, so anything that is cold and creamy, is sure to please most of the crowd!

Yogurt and Kale Popsicles

Mama Chef Extraordinaire: Kristen Howerton (www.rageagainsttheminivan.com)

 

When to Introduce: Besides the fact that these would be INCREDIBLY messy if given to a little one under one (or two...or three...), they do contain strawberries and pineapple. Both tend to be a little bit on the allergenic side, so my recommendation would be to serve once they are over 12 months of age. Always consult your pediatrician with any concerns.

 

Why we Love It:  Ummm....they are cold and yummy deliciousness. And if that isn't convincing enough for you, they are packed with uber healthy probiotics, greens and fruit...all good things for tiny (and not so tiny) tummies!

Ingredients: 

1/2 cup plain nonfat yogurt
1/2 cup fresh kale
1/2 cup frozen pineapple
1/2 cup frozen strawberries
2 tbsp stevia (to sweeten)

 

Directions: 

 Add all ingredients to blender.

Pour into Popsicle molds and freeze until solid...usually at least 3 hours.

Servings: This will make about 2 cups - so it depends on the size of the molds you are using, but will usually make 4-6 treats!

A Letter To Sweet R on her 4th Birthday

(This content was originally published on 5/13/13 at www.westvalleymomsblog.com)

 

Dear Sweet 4 Year Old R, 

4 years ago I sat in the hospital and held you in my arms in that rare post-partum combination of sheer bliss and utter terror. Your hands and feet so very tiny, yet perfectly poised to take on the world. I smelled your sweet newborn scent (that I have yet to determine where exactly it comes from…but it is so divine) and fell in love with the way your tiny head snuggled perfectly into the crook of my neck, like a long lost puzzle piece. The nurses assumed that we knew how to change your tiny diaper…silly them. They gave us a tutorial. They assumed that we knew just how to swaddle you into the perfect baby burrito. Again, they were wrong. But we figured it out. Little did we know that the “we will figure it out” part, wouldn’t be over when you were no longer a newborn. We have been “figuring it out” for the last 4 years….and I have a sneaking suspicion we will be doing just that long into your adulthood. 

Today was the first time that your birthday fell on Mother’s Day. While the 10-years-ago-me may have been selfishly miffed to have to share my special day, I can think of no way better to celebrate than to share the celebration with the perfect tiny human that bestowed upon  me the coveted title of Mama.  Funny how motherhood does that…takes away the selfishness.  Funny too, how you have taught me to love beyond what I thought possible. How to love a person with every fiber of my being, unconditionally, and forever. Who knew that kind of love existed? My mother…and my mother’s mother…and generations of mothers before them...that’s who. And someday my love, you too will hopefully join the club of mama hood….just be sure you get out there and spend some time learning to be you first….trust me, that will come in handy along the way. And besides, you want to have some good stories to tell your kiddos someday…the kind that will make them roll their eyes at you.  Some “been there, done that” moments.  Trust me on that one (someday I will share my stories with you…whether you want to hear them or not...and you are free to roll your eyes all your want…I will keep talking).

I used to be the person that only cried in a movie when something bad happened to an animal. Now, I get all weepy when I think of you or your brother growing up. Your dad is already dreading the “empty nest” syndrome that I am sure to have when the two of you head off to college one day. (Poor guy better get used to lots of dogs…or goats…I have kind of always wanted a goat….). But for now, I remind myself that you are just four year old. You are still a baby.  I remind myself to focus on enjoying these moments with you while you are young.  I know they will pass far too quickly. They already have.

This weekend was amazing. I melted when your eyes lit up each time one of your friends walked in the door at your party yesterday.  You were so excited to have them all around you, in your home. The sheer joy you showed as you blew out the candles on your bright blue birthday cake (with sprinkles of course…) and made a wish. You told everyone just how much you loved them over and over again. And you mean it each time. You have a heart of pure gold. And today, celebrating Mother’s Day with you and your brother by my side, while wishing you a Happy Birthday no less than 43 times….well, it was just about perfect.  

Sweet R, I may have taught you a few things along the way…like how to write your name and how to make your bed, but you have taught me so much more. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a pro at this parenting thing yet…not sure if anyone ever really is. But as I took a longer than usual time to say goodnight to you tonight, and you snuggled into my side, I realized that you still fit against me like a puzzle…just a slightly larger one. And although I still have moments of sheer terror when I think of all the things I have still to teach you (many of which I have not even considered I am sure…), the moments of pure bliss, and just a frequent as when you were a newborn. And now, those moments are mixed with pride. You have so many wonderful adventures ahead of you.  I am so very proud of you my sweet girl, and I cannot wait to hold your hand along the way. I promise you, we will “figure it out”…together.

Happy 4^th Birthday Big Girl!

Love you to the moon and back,

Mommy

One of the open tabs....

Those of you who read my posts with any regularity know that (one of) the 2000+ tabs that is currently open in my mind is the looming question of  "Do we have a third baby or stick with the two pretty much perfect kidlets that we already have?" And when I say "open tab", I am severely understating the situation here...as in, pretty much any time I am not tending to one of the many needs of Sweet R or Little Dude B, this is the first place my mind tends to wander (also know as, "Obsess much mama?") And chances are if you asked me where I currently stand 37 times each day, the answer would change no less than 36 different times.

Why is it that this "next step" is so much more difficult of a decision to make than it was going from 1 to 2?  Seriously, that decision was akin to "Hey babe, we ran out of toilet paper. Should we go to Costco and get some more or just skip it?" Why yes, yes we should, dear. And we were off to the races. No muss, no fuss.

And for the hubs and I, the whole "if it is meant to be it will be" thought process is not an option. For two reasons....the first being 3 simple letters: "O.C.D." No plan, means no smiles from mama. This mama is not a fan of surprises....I know, I'm no fun. The second being with our first sessions of TTC, my husband pretty much sneezed in my general direction and my uterus snapped to attention. I mean no disrespect to those who have struggled with fertility....I can only imagine the heartache that comes with it, but our history (thankfully) has given us no grey area in that whole family-planning arena.I don't anticipate it would this time either so "wait and see" pretty much means, get the nursery ready.

Thus, we return to the soul-searching. Let me be the first to admit, soul-searching sucks. Like, with Dyson level suction. Some people say you will just "know"....that must be dreamy. This morning around 9:30am, I "knew". Now....not so much. Sometime during the bath routine tonight, I anticipate I will "know" again. Only to be thrown for yet another loop tonight when I sneak in and kiss their soft cheeks before I go to bed. Followed by much Googling of such rediculous topics as "Should I have another kid?" or "Is it better to have 2 kids or 3?" (Insert eye roll here....it's OK, I would roll my eyes at me as well)

I am one of two and so is my husband. Truthfully that is all we know.  So I have no idea where this idea of more popped into my head. At one point in my life I said I would have as many kiddos as it took to get at least one of each gender (check that one off the list...). At one point that changed to wanting 3. Some days I am sure that I want to be fully responsible for yet another human being for at least 18 years. And some days, I just want to smother the two I already have with so much love, resources and one-on-one time that I cannot imagine them having to share me with anyone else. And don't even get me started on when I start weighing out the, *gasp*, logistical/financial factors of adding another tiny human to the mix. But oh, that perfect baby snuggle and warm, sweet baby breath...swoon....

Alas, the soul search shall continue...

In the meantime, I have to go wake up my beautiful lovelies from their afternoon naps....because when this mama's soul gets to searching, the only thing that breaks the spell are the sweet faces of the two best things that already happened to me. THAT my friends, I know for sure.

Look for the helpers....

On days like today, words evade me. In the relatively short time that this blog has been up and running, two such tragedies have occurred here on American soil. Two times, I have had to tear myself away from the news so as not to inundate my children with images of horror that are all too real.

Today, my heart broke silently as Sweet R says to me...."Don't look at it mama. A very bad person did a very bad thing...."

She's 3...she shouldn't have such phrasing ready in her innocent little mind. 

That said, I don't believe in sheltering my children from reality. Instead, I attempt to explain such unexplainable acts in terms that are not quite so scary. I grasp at ways to color this world in a way much brighter than I view it following events such as those that transpired today.

Today I turn to an old childhood friend of mine for his wisdom....

Well said Mr. Rogers. Well said....

Our thoughts are with everyone in the great city of Boston today and all of those whose lives will be forever changed by the horrific events of today. May you find peace in the everyday beauty of life that still surrounds you.

5 Surprising Foods Your Kids Just May LOVE!

(I originally wrote and  published this post on April 8th, 2013 on West Valley Mom's Blog - www.westvalleymomsblog.com )

When it comes to mealtime for our little ones, there is one rule that many of us (myself included) have to remind ourselves of on a regular basis: Just because we do not like a food doesn’t mean that our little ones will feel the same way! In fact, experts suggest that it takes a young child an average of seven tries of a particular food (in seven separate feedings), to make a “final” judgement as to whether or not they like a particular taste. And even beyond that, we all know that the preferences of our little ones often change with the wind. Those crackers they couldn’t get enough of yesterday, just may be the bain of their existence today. Ahh….they sure do keep us on our toes don’t they?

In my almost 4 years of mama-hood, I have made it a point to offer my littles tastes of just about everything that we adults eat at mealtime. That part is easy. What can be a bit more difficult is remembering to offer them tastes of foods that we may not typically include on our “favorites” list. Foods that maybe we have an aversion to or simply have always THOUGHT we wouldn’t like. This is where I have had a few surprises along the way…foods I thought there was no way my kiddos would eat, let alone ask for again down the road. Turns out, when we present foods to our kids without bias, they make their own judgments and sometimes, the verdict just may surprise you. Many of them are typically on the “yuck” list for kiddos, but all are packed with nutritional goodness, and when prepared correctly and presented in a positive light, they may just be asking for more!

Here are a few to try that have surprised me along the way:

1. Lima Beans – Yup….probably my personal least favorite legume, but my kiddos LOVE them….frozen. Weird? Maybe, but they eat them like candy and I call that a win!

2. Beets – You will for sure have to pop the little ones in the bath after a meal of these puppies, but the fun color and easy to eat consistency, makes for a winning combo.

3. Brussels Sprouts – Hop on Pinterest any time and you are sure to find numerous recipes for these beauties…don;t let your own childhood hatred for them stand in your way. Try them…and share them. I bet your opinion just may be changed!

4. Cauliflower – From tots, to poppers, to pizza crusts, this is one versatile veggie and it is a favorite in our house!!

5 . Shellfish – Obviously, make sure your little one is age-appropriate before trying this one, but peeling, cracking, and shucking is FUN for the wee ones. Yes, be prepared to help and for mealtime to take a while, but you just may have some great photo ops!

The moral of the story: When it comes to feeding your little ones and setting them off on the right foot for proper nutrition, be sure to check your own food biases at the door. It can be tough for sure. But feeding my little ones had broadened my own palate along the way and opened my eyes to new flavors I never thought I would love. Just another surprise on this little journey we call parenthood!

A little of this...a little of that....

I am tired. Still....

What a weekend this was in our house! A great, wonderful, super fun weekend....but whew....

2 birthday parties, a bachelorette weekend, a neighborhood block party, a family brunch.....the list goes on. And all within a 48 hour period. Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining. Just, as I said before, tired.

As I sit here with a large caffeinated beverage in hand and some blisters on my toes from my "those-heels-didn't-seem-so-high-before-I-had-kiddos" shoes, I am reminded on what a tremendous balancing act motherhood (especially young motherhood) is. Now that most of my friends have kiddos (or kiddos on the way) we are all struggling with how to keep one foot (well, at least a toe) in the young-fun-trendy scene, while still trying to soak in all-things-mama and be the super mama that Pinterest makes us feel we need to be. I was struck with a minor panic attack when I realized that yoga pants and a tank top probably weren't adequate attire of a fun night out with the ladies in Old Town Scottsdale.  I used to be somewhat trendy...not so much these days. But that's OK....my kiddos don't care. (But I will say that when one of the most fashionable/trendy/child-less ladies at the party complimented my top, my week was MADE!)

I was among the first of my girlfriends to take the plunge into parenthood and let me tell you, I still haven't mastered the balancing/juggling/circus act it requires to strike such a tenuous balance. But I suppose maybe that is why we were meant to do this whole thing when we are young(ish...). Lord knows if I tried this exact scenario again in just about 15 years, I may have sustained a more serious injury when I fell out of said-too-tall-now-heels while chasing my toddler down the stairs with a half-eaten banana before I headed out on Friday night.

But I am gonna go ahead and give myself (and all you other juggling mamas out there) at little pat on the back for taking a little bit of this and a little bit of that in your life, and making it look GOOD (well....at least believable....that is all we can ask for right). From muscling my way through a few Jell-o shots to baking fresh strawberry muffins to share in a basket (I will let you guess which weekend event corresponds with which of those achievements), I managed to look fun and domestic in one period. And I am going to call that a success in my book!

Here's to many more such weekends! Cheers (with a perfectly created, gallery-worthy Pinterest-inspired adult beverage of course)!

Facebook Baby Swooning....

Gotta love social media.....not only does it allow you to reconnect with old friends and family who live far away, classmates your never would have thought about ever again (but now kinda secretly love to stalk online), and allow you to still pretend you are somewhat relevant and cool by "Liking" the most popular band and viral dance videos, but it forces you to call into question major life decisions.

Since this blog is primarily a parenting blog, I will give you three guesses what I am referring to....and the first two don't count.

Like puppies and kittens, spring is the season for babies. And everywhere I look on Facebook, there are belly-pic selfies and bright red, squishy faced newborns staring me in the eye. Dead in the eye...as though they are issuing me some sort of challenge.  Like the box of Thin Mints in my freezer, "You know you want one more...." they seem to say. And I melt just a little....even for those newborns that belong to one of the aforementioned "classmates I never would have thought about ever again". Because they are amazing.And even though I will likely never meet them, they make my ovaries hurt. They do...

Funny thing, I NEVER would have considered myself a baby person had you asked me 5 years ago. And then I had one....and that one was so amazing that I (ok, WE...I will give credit where it is due) made another one. And he was perfect too. For sure, I am the only mother in the entire universe with TWO perfect children right?? I mean, come on....

I find myself thought-stalking people I see in public (just realized that is the 2nd time I used the word "stalk" in this post...I promise I am not creepy....).  Wondering how they determined the right family size for them. Thinking about if the mom of two high schoolers ever gets baby fever. Contemplating if the family with 5 kids has room for "just one more." Does every mom really just KNOW when they are "done"?  Did the "big family" across the street just say "To hell with the logistics of it all...let's do this"? I can't help myself, I am a planner by nature...and that includes the next 18 years or so.

Sigh....anyone with me on this? Or am I just completely over-sharing? Eh, perhaps, but I am a pretty transparent person (especially in parenthood) and I have a sneaking suspicion I am not the only mama on here to have this cross their mind. Even if I am , writing an article about it makes me feel like I am not...so there. It's my blog and I will ponder if I want too.....(sticking tongue out here).

Don't get me wrong, I maintain that my family is perfect just the way it is.  Because it is. I have come to know a love like nothing I imagined possible since becoming a mom and I know that whatever we settle on down the road will be just right for us. But in the meantime, all you belly-pic and newborn pic posters, just know that I am lingering a little longer than usual on your photos. (Remember, I am Facebook a stalker after all), and chances are they will trigger yet another round of  "to spawn or not to spawn just one more" swooning in this house. No pressure ya'll. No pressure at all.

I bet Mark Zuckerberg never thought his little project would potentially influence the world population numbers did he? Ahh, gotta love social media.

Tips for the "picky" days!

(I originally wrote this article for a post on www.westvalleymomsblog.com published on 3/11/13, but thought you all may find it pretty useful too....please enjoy!)

Chances are, there is going to come a day when your little one looks at meal in front of them and say “I don’t want to eat that.” They have decided that today is a great day to exercise their new-found independence, and often that realization come while at the meal table. For some kids, this phase comes much earlier than others….even as young as infancy. For others, it is a case of a child who has eaten like a champ since birth, but as soon as they hit pre-school for the first time, they start to turn their nose up at mealtime.

With my oldest, now almost four, this phase hit as soon as her little feet hit the ground and started walking. Miss Independent had her own ideas about mealtime, and I admittedly made the same mistake that so many parents do. I bribed, I forced, I freaked out on her. I didn’t know any better and to be honest, I was afraid she would starve. As the months and years went by, I read more and more articles and talked to various experts in childhood nutrition that maintain that when it comes to  helping children develop lifelong healthy relationships with food, bribery and “just take 3 more bites” may actually be doing more harm than good. Yikes!

Today, I am sharing with you some of the tips and tricks I have learned along that way that have gotten my kids excited about mealtime and turned the sentiment (most of the time…)  from “I don’t want to eat that” to “How can we make that for dinner?” Music to this mama’s ears.

Play With Your Food - Regardless of what your grandmother told you at the dinner table when you were a child, when it comes to getting little ones to try new foods, it really is OK to play with your food. This is a time for you as a parent to exercise your creative side! Make a smiley face on the plate with spaghetti squash as the hair and a bell pepper as the mouth. Make a tic-tac-toe board on their plate with carrot sticks and use some other veggies as the “x’s” and “o’s”. And if you are not confident in your own creative abilities with food, that is OK! There are products out there that can help with this. There are plates with faces  and various scenes already on them that you can decorate with food of your choice! Make it fun and chances are, they will step right up!

Make Mealtime A Lesson Time - For the toddler set, turn mealtime into education time. If your little ones are learning their letters, make it a game to eat a new food that starts with the letter of the day! If today is “A” day, make it a goal for your little one to try asparagus or artichokes for the first time. Change the letter each day to keep it new and exciting! Or, if it is colors that you are focusing on, you can do the same thing. If today is “orange” day, maybe they try butternut squash for the first time or even sweet potato fries! If you really want to make it an experience, create a chart to hang on the wall or fridge and give them a sticker when they complete a letter or color. Kiddos this age love a little challenge and this is a great way to incorporate that!

Take Them Shopping With You - Trust me, I know that sometimes that weekend trip to the grocery store is a great time for mom to get an hour of solitude, but if you are going through a picky phase with your little one, it may be a good time to take them with you. Make sure to spend lots of time in the outer edges of the store….produce, meat, dairy. And not sure much in the inner aisles….usually processed foods. Allow your little one to pick out a new fruit or veggie to try that week. Talk with them about how the food gets to the store (include lots of imagery about tractors and big trucks…kids dig that stuff). By doing this, your little love will feel like they helped make the decision this week. If they chose the food, chances are, they will eat it!

Get Them In The Kitchen - This is a great one for the pre-school set. Sure, there are tasks they should steer clear of….cutting, boiling, grating, etc. But there are LOTS of tasks you can have your little one help with when it comes to meal-prep. They can help get ingredients out of the pantry/fridge, they can scoop flour from a bin, they can dump pre-measured ingredients into a bowl, they can even stir. Sure, it may mean a little more of a mess to clean up after dinner, but kiddos love to help “create” and what better way to do so than in the kitchen? Plus, it is sure to create some great memories along the way. And just watch their face light up when they tell the whole family, “I helped make that”..and then dig in!

Those picky phases can be so frustrating, but next time they hit, give a few of these a try! I hope they help you as much as they have helped us along the way!

Go forth (very) young man....

There was a day not so long ago....like 3 weeks ago to be exact....that my Little Dude B's lower lip started to tremble at the mere suggestion of mama walking away from him and leaving him with, gasp, another capable adult. He would literally suction-cup himself to my leg and I could go about my daily activities....so long as I didn't mind the extra 21-ish pounds that I was carrying around. I would have him switch sides occasionally so as not to create overly developed muscles in one leg as opposed to the other....

Well, maybe I exaggerate a tad....but only a tad.

We recently joined the YMCA and the primary reason we went with them over the umpteen other gyms in the Valley....FREE childcare while you work out! Score for mama!! Additionally, since my little dude is not yet in pre-school, I figured this would be a great chance for some socialization. Turns out, he is terrified of socialization. This was not an issue I EVER had to deal with with Sweet R. In fact, I am the one who cried the first time I left her with another caretaker....primary reason for my tears? She could have cared LESS that I walked out the door. She is a super social being by nature and loves the stimulation of new people and things to look at. Little Dude however, has been by my side since birth and seemed perfectly content to stay so....

After several "Ummm....we have tried to calm him down, but his face is now purple and dripping with tears and snot...." calls from the YMCA childcare I was convinced I would have to sit by his side while he took his SATs. But a reassuring conversation with the director of the center convinced me to keep trying it and day by day, he would get more comfortable.

And guess what?? As sure as the sun comes up every morning, Little Dude is getting there. Last week, it took minimal prying to get his tiny fingers to loosen their grip on my shirt when I dropped him off. Today....sniff, sniff....he willingly walked through the gate into the play area and only glanced back at me once as if to say...."Ok mama.....we are good here."

I stood there and looked at him blankly as he toddled off to the wooden kitchen set to commence his daily "Iron Chef" competition (with himself) as he does every day at home. My heart broke just a little. One would think the relief of having a stress free drop-off would be a joy. But I couldn't help but think for just a moment....that I wished he was gripping my shirt again. I wished he was needing me just as much today as he did last week.

Sigh....my kiddos are little (both under 4), so I know I have many many "needy" moments ahead of me. But as those days get fewer and further between, I am pretty sure I will find myself growing more and more "needy" in their absence. Needy for their love and needy for their, well....needs. Boy am I gonna be a wreck when it comes close to empty nest time....hope my Big Dude is ready for some large dogs....or goats. I have always kinda wanted some goats....after all, aren't they called "kids"? Ba dum dum! I crack myself up sometimes.

So, go forth (very) young man.....but not too quickly. Or mama just may latch onto your leg and not let go.....

To Lovie, or not to Lovie....That is the Question...

There is a new debate sparking a divide in our house these days...to "Lovie" or not to "Lovie." Next to whether or not syrup should be kept in the refrigerator after opening, this debate is pretty much the most impassioned in recent (or not so recent) history.

So, what is this "Lovie" I speak of? Oh, you know the one... For some it is a rag-tag blankie with various stains on it that you try not to think about being in the crib with your little one...much less them chewing on the corner of during nap-time. For some it is a long eared bunny blanket that was once pink and white, but these days is more a trendy pink and grey theme...she may or may not smell of various baby (or pet) aromas and she may or may not have all of her original appendages.

For Sweet R, the later has been our reality since she was about 9 months old. Our stellar creativity has resulted in her being named...wait for it..."Pink Bunny" and we live in fear of it going missing. I am talking Zombie Apocalypse level fear. We have had some close calls in the past...not limited to baby being dropped on train-tracks before an oncoming train and baby being stuck in a locked washing machine that we simply could not get open. Not to mention all the break-downs that have gone down when PB was simply taking a "bath" and mommy or daddy failed to time it appropriately for Sweet R's nap time. Big parenting fail... Seriously though, when we get in the car to go anywhere, I often look first to be sure we have PB....then I ensure that my children a buckled in appropriately (go ahead...judge away...)

In the past, we have tried to provide a stunt-double PB for things like pre-school naptime or long flights, but we were quickly met with protest....silly us. Surely we know better than to try and fool a 15 month old. She knew the difference instantaneously and as she literally threw the imposter back in our face, she shook her head as if to say, "How insulting...."

With R nearing 4 years old,  we ask ourselves daily when the magic age is that PB will be placed in a nice decorative box and packed away for future grandchildren. Occasionally, we ask R the same question and are met with a look that simply says, "You best be prepared to pay room and board for my floppy eared friend when college comes calling..." Awesome. Nonetheless, PB, has been there for us and made many a day easier with her magical ability to soothe our tiny dancer on the roughest of toddler days. She has been worth her weight (times 1000) in gold or yen or bouillon (whatever is more valuable these days)!

Just last week, Little Dude B has decided that he too has found his first true love. It's name is "Night Night" (a few more creativity points?). NN is the blanket that has been in his crib for the past 3 months or so and like a reality TV Bachelor, he has fallen hard and fast for this particular textile. We're talkin' won't sit at the table without it, dragging it around like Charlie Brown's friend, sleeps with his body curled around it, kind of love. And only if I manage to hide it from him at least 20 minutes before we leave the house, can we get into the car without this cotton-blend friend coming with us.

Did I mention, it is a LOT bigger than R's floppy eared friend? Even more surface area to pick up the filth of the outside world.

My love/hate with NN tends to lean more toward love....after all, it is adorable when he calls for "Night Night" and let's face it, it has stopped more than one melt-down dead in its tracks. My husband however, has yet to find the "love" component of the relationship. He sees the constant washing that will be needed, the prying it out of his hands when we need to make him presentable in public, and the inevitable disaster mode that will ensue when we accidentally leave it somewhere out of our grasp. I totally get it....I do.

But what do you do? The security of a "lovie" is something that every child deserves, but there truly is no reasoning with them when their material friend is in question. I can see "Night Night" now...sprawled carelessly across Little Dude's extra-long twin in his college dorm beneath a few ramen wrappers and energy drink cans....(at least those are the "college life" artifacts that I choose to envision in my son's room....). And then carefully tucked away in his honeymoon luggage when he heads off the Bora Bora with the 2nd true love of his life....

Do your kiddos have a "lovie"? Have you already managed to ease them away from it? At what age? Tell me more...lord knows I am gonna need some help on this one!

A little sappy....but oh so true!

Fair warning.... I am about to go all sappy mama on you.....

I had one of those moments today where I looked back at my daughter in her car seat and she looked like a kid. Not a baby, not a toddler, a real honest to goodness kid. I am not sure if it was the way the sunshine was highlighting her cheekbones or the look in her eyes at that very moment, but it took my breath away. At just a few months shy of four years old, she is a far cry from all-grown-up, but in that instant, I caught a glimpse into the future. . I didn't say a word to her and I am certain that she had no idea that I was having such a "mom moment", but there was simply something beautiful about that exchange. I stared at her a little longer than usual, and she let me do so...a rarity these days without her saying "What are you looking at mama?"

I know this is a far sappier post that most, but as parents, I think we are often pulled in about 15 different directions at any given time. And sometimes I think we are so caught up in the fire-fighting and the "how on earth are we going to survive this situation" moments, that we often look right past those "take your breath away" opportunities The ones that make this whole utterly exhausting in every sense of the word,  adventure, so incredible. I actually had my camera right next to me, and for a fleeting moment, I considered grabbing it and trying to capture on film, what would be forever imprinted on my mind, and heart. But at that same instant, I know that no photo could do justice to this moment.

Fast forward just 5 minutes, and I was back to my reality and was reminding that "grown up" little girl not to push her baby brother and steal his toys. And it never felt so good to reprimand her. A reminder that my job as a mama is far from done. A reminder in fact, that no matter how many times I look at her ever changing face and body and think "what did THAT happen?", there will always be lessons to share, guidance to offer, tears to wipe, games to play, and moments to share.

My husband often scoffs at me when I say that I am still looking for a way to banzai my babies. They can do it to plants....certainly there must be a way to do it with humans right? I get all misty eyed and weepy each time one of my littles moves from one phase of childhood to the next. I always say "that is the last time I will ever seem them do _____________" and then he always says, "Don't you know that the best stuff is still to come?" And my answer is always "No, this is the best stuff."

Recently, a light bulb went off when I made this comment.  Little did I know I have been talking myself into a corner all along. For each time I make that argument, I admit that each phase is even better than the last and this adventure is not one with a beginning and an end, but one that will last a lifetime. Sure, some years will be better than others....I hear middle school is AWESOME. And I can tell you without a doubt that that beautiful little "all grown up" girl and I will have many a door-slamming-I-hate-you-mom arguments. But I can also tell you that on the other side of those rough patches, is always a stronger love. Tis the relationship between parent and child....and even more so  between mother and daughter. Trust me, I have been there once already....

I never said my "random mama thoughts Monday" posts wouldn't be sappy...just random. So, thank you for indulging in my mama moment for the day.... Peas. Love. Yumminess. friends!

Mealtime Ideas for "Light" Eaters

(I originally wrote this post for a feature on West Valley Moms Blog, www.westvalleymomsblog.com, but it was just too appropriate not to share here as well!)

I can’t tell you how excited my husband and I were when we got to the stage with our oldest where all foods were fair game. We are a family who likes to cook, bake, and eat, so we couldn’t wait to have her try all of the lovely treats that exist in this world! We had agreed that we wanted her to more or less, eat what we eat. Some “kid food” would be fine every now and then, but we were determined to cultivate a sophisticated palate from an early age. And for the most part, she was on board. That is, until she discovered just how cool it was to do just about anything other than sit in her high-chair.

She started walking on her first birthday, and was off to the races from day one. Along with her increased curiosity about the world around her, came a decreased desire to spend time eating. I began to spend many meals in tears (literally…) trying to get her to eat even just a few bites. The pediatrician assured us that she would eat when she was hungry and intellectually, I knew this was true. Emotionally however, I was a wreck. I though for sure she was just going to disappear. Some called her a “picky eater” – a accusation which made me very defensive. She would try just about anything, and enjoy them. She just wouldn’t eat more than a bite or two at a time. She wasn’t a picky eater, just a light one.

From this point on, I was a mama on a mission. I wanted to make sure that each bite that eventually did make it to her tiny tummy, was as nutritionally dense as possible and had enough healthy calories in it, to make me feel comfortable. There are some AWESOME natural snacks lines out there for kiddos and we certainly tried some of those. But the cost of many high-quality kids foods, can be a little steep. Not to mention the fact that I liked the idea of knowing exactly what was going into her tummy (OK, maybe I have a little streak of control-freak in me…). Regardless, I spent many an hour perusing the aisles of the grocery store searching for snack and meal items that were higher in calories, but not packed full of preservatives, sodium, empty calories, or “bad” fat. These items have since become staples in my fridge and pantry! Listed below are my top 10 items (no particular order) that the kiddos seem to love, and help get some calories into their “too busy to eat” little bodies!

(One disclaimer, do keep in mind your little one’s chewing ability when considering these foods. You know them best and some of these suggestions are for slightly more “advanced” eaters.)

1.  Avocado – Yummm….just yum…..
2. Full-fat Yogurt – this can be tougher to find than you think, but you can usually find it in the larger multi-serving containers
3. Raw Nuts – almonds, pistachios, cashews
4. Dried Fruit – apricots, dates, pineapple, cherries, blueberries (just be careful not to over do it on there….LOTS of fiber )
5. Yogurt Covered Raisins – oh come on….these are pretty much candy but with some nutrients
6. Banana Chips – who would have guessed it? These babies pack a fairly high calorie count, and they are always a fan favorite
7. Edamame – In the shell or out, these little green gems are packed with protein (soy) and are just FUN to eat!
8. Nut Butters – move over peanut butter…almond butter, sunflower butter and others are moving in! You can even find them in single -serve squeeze packs at specialty stores and on-line
9. Hummus – made with healthy oils and tahini (sesame paste), this is a great option! Little ones love to dip just about anything in it
10. Smoothies – made at home from fresh ingredients, not the sugar laden ones at the local shops! With my kiddos, if it can go through a straw, it must be good!

So there you have it, some ideas that have worked for us in this house of “light eaters”. My little guy, now 18 months, is in this stage again, and while it is like deja vu all over again, I am not nearly as stressed out as I was with my daughter. I have a proven plan of attack and it is true what they say….the will eat when they are hungry. I promise mama.

But in the meantime, it’s time to stock the pantry!

What other ideas do you have to add to the list? Any proven favorites in your house? Do share!

Turns out, this is kinda hard....

Who knew that being your own boss could be so difficult? After a number of years in the corporate world with some amazing, inspiring bosses and some....well, to be kind....not so amazing and not so inspiring ones, I dreamed many a long and detailed dream about what it would be like to be THE head honcho. The one who calls the shots, makes the hours, and gets it done HER way. Having been at this seriously almost a year now...geez....I can say with gusto, that it is tougher than I thought. And right now, I am still just a party of one, making some baby food, blogging some blogs, and trying to build a brand. I don't even have anyone to compromise with, negotiate with, or go head to head with.

Well, no one that is, that works for me...or is over 3ish feet tall.

As it turns out, I still have 2 tiny humans that I work FOR....Sweet R and Mr B.

When I decided to go after At First Bite officially, one of the primary drawing points, was that I would be able to be a "work at home" mama, spending valuable hours at home with my littles while still having a project to keep me challenged (as if raising two littles isn't challenge enough....) and to be very honest, so that I wouldn't have a big old honking blank spot on my resume when/if I choose to return to the corporate world sometime down the road. And yes, these motivations are still critical to what I am doing here, but the balancing act is a bit more difficult that I had envisioned in my mental business plan.

Each day in the shower....you all know that is where we do our best thinking....I plan out my day, hour by hour. I divide up the business time, the kiddo-only time, the multi-tasking time, and if I am particularly ambitious, some "domestic goddess" time (please note the use of sarcastic quotations here...). In my mind, each segment of time is divided off in a different color with a solid bold line around it. In reality, the segments are varying shades of gray (no...not quite 50 shades...) with blurry dotted lines around them. Inevitably, I slap my own hand when I pick up my iPhone when it should be "kiddo-only" time and flick my own fingers when I find my browser magically ended up on my personal Facebook page when I should be planning the puree menu for the week. For someone who has always prided herself on being intrinsically motivated (how bout those vocabulary words?), I kinda suck sometimes at keeping on task.

Also, I have always known that I was a competitive person, but this whole small business ownership thing, has taken that to a whole new level. I look at other mamas who are out there doing the same thing I am (not necessarily pimping baby food, but you know what I mean....), and for every success I hear about, I am thrilled for a moment, and then I start to kick myself. Why did I not do that? How do I reach that point? What opportunity did I miss out on? Constantly assessing what I am doing right....what I am doing wrong....where my priorities lie.

And admittedly, I am a product of the "I want it NOW" generation. The mentality that seems to be so rampant in our society is hard to get away from when you are building a small business. Success takes a LONG time. I have watched enough "Shark Tank" to know that successful enterprises are not built over night. Or even over a year....or five. Growth is growth no matter how small and setbacks happen. This has been the hardest for me for sure....by a mile. I get antsy real quick when it comes to making things happen so this whole "one step at a time" thing,  and I, we are still working on becoming friends.

Funny how life works....So often the things we are most passionate about and the things that give us the most energy are  also the things that completely drain us. Mentally, emotionally, intellectually. But the way I see it, that is a good thing. It means we care enough to fight for their success.

I have no way of knowing where At First Bite will be a year from now....5 years from now. And by all means, I am stoked for the ride. But as difficult as this has been  in so many ways, I feel we are already a success. In my eyes, I have made a dream come to life. We may not yet be a household name, but we have a name. We may not yet be worth beans in the scope of big business, but it has been worth it. We may not yet have made our big move, but we are on the move. And those are ALL good things.

I promise not to use this blog as a venting board, but whether you are in small business mode or not, I feel like my sentiments can apply to so many things in this life, so I wanted to share. So, keep swimming, keep working, and keep dreaming my friends. We only get one shot at this...

In the "mommy wars", can I be Switzerland?

I tell ya, we women are tough to please...and if I may go so far, I will say that the majority of us are some judgemental "you-know-whats" when it comes to how we view other women. Oh come on, you know it's true....from those awkward tween years, to the spiteful full-blown-teen ones to the grand-daddy of judgmental times....Parenthood.

As much as I like to say that I am a VERY tolerant and accepting person who tries to see the good in everyone, there are moments when I admit it....I think I am doing something better than someone else...or everyone else.  We all do it...come on....admit it. I know, it makes me feel dirty too...but its the truth. It is something that is just embedded in us. Whether it is discipline styles, medical care choices, or extracurricular activities, our choices as parents are unending and 110% personal. And often, we don't agree with the choices our best friends, sisters, or the random other mom at the grocery store, make. And while most of us will never say boo about it or make these thoughts known, our minds are often swirling with them. And so, we stew about it...I stew quite well.

One of the most highly inflammatory debates among parents is: Should both parents work? Or is it best for one to be home with the kiddos? (I can hear the blood boiling across the screen already) Also known as...."The Mommy Wars"

Let me begin by saying that I have been on BOTH sides of this argument and truthfully, it is an argument that I continue to fight with myself and drive my husband crazy with on a DAILY basis (OK, maybe I try to contain the husband part to once a week or so....). I have worked crazy corporate hours and come home to spend a whole 20 minutes with my kids before they go to bed. And I have spent long days at home with an infant and a toddler,  pulling my hair out and longing for interaction with adults that doesn't involve conversation about milestones, sleeping patterns, or diaper contents. Both have moments that suck. And both have moments of sheer perfection.

I have had the joy that comes along with walking in the door after a long day at the office and having my toddler wrap herself around my legs and excitedly tell me all about her day and how much she loves me. I have had feeling of pride that comes of taking my little girl into my office and showing her what I do all day and seeing her eyes light up with the possibilities that come along with what we may consider mundane office tasks. I can see her dreaming of her future and all the possibilities that it holds. I have had the satisfaction of contributing financially to their future. And I have learned to appreciate each and every minute that I have with my kiddos because when you only have about 20 of them after work, you learn to make the most of each tick of the clock.

On the other hand, being home with my kiddos, I have had the satisfaction of being the hero to kiss the boo-boos that come with toddler life (it's rough you know...) and make it "all better". I am the one that gets to answer the ongoing lists of questions that they ask....and make sure that I am continuing to challenge them to ask even more.  I have had the chance to show my kids that you can turn something that you are passionate about into a business venture. And I have had the chance to slow down time just a little bit....because let's face it, days can be long at home...but we all know that they are only little for a very short time.

Argh....just writing this has induced anxiety for me once again. Which choice is the "right" one? Which one ensures that I am doing the most good for my family? What is right "right now" may not be what is right for our family in 5 years. Not to mention the fact that what is best for ME right now may not be what is best for ME down the road...can't forget to take care of mama (or papa).

What makes a parent a "good parent" is the love that they share with their kiddos....not the number of minutes they see them each day, but what they DO with the moments they have. A good parent loves, shapes, and guides their children in a way that ensures they turn out to be the best possible version of themselves that they can be.  A good parent DOESN'T belittle others in front of their children or openly judge other parents for the choices they make. A good parent not only teaches, but listens. Last time I checked, a parent could do any and all of these things regardless of employment status.

The bottom line, in the Mommy Wars, I choose to be Switzerland. I choose no side...because quite frankly, I could go either way. Call me a coward, call me a weeble wobbler, but I fully straddle the imaginary line that exists between working parents and SAHM/Ds and depending on the day (or the hour) I can tip one way or the other. Maybe it just depends which hip I am holding the heavier kiddo on....