Go forth (very) young man....

There was a day not so long ago....like 3 weeks ago to be exact....that my Little Dude B's lower lip started to tremble at the mere suggestion of mama walking away from him and leaving him with, gasp, another capable adult. He would literally suction-cup himself to my leg and I could go about my daily activities....so long as I didn't mind the extra 21-ish pounds that I was carrying around. I would have him switch sides occasionally so as not to create overly developed muscles in one leg as opposed to the other....

Well, maybe I exaggerate a tad....but only a tad.

We recently joined the YMCA and the primary reason we went with them over the umpteen other gyms in the Valley....FREE childcare while you work out! Score for mama!! Additionally, since my little dude is not yet in pre-school, I figured this would be a great chance for some socialization. Turns out, he is terrified of socialization. This was not an issue I EVER had to deal with with Sweet R. In fact, I am the one who cried the first time I left her with another caretaker....primary reason for my tears? She could have cared LESS that I walked out the door. She is a super social being by nature and loves the stimulation of new people and things to look at. Little Dude however, has been by my side since birth and seemed perfectly content to stay so....

After several "Ummm....we have tried to calm him down, but his face is now purple and dripping with tears and snot...." calls from the YMCA childcare I was convinced I would have to sit by his side while he took his SATs. But a reassuring conversation with the director of the center convinced me to keep trying it and day by day, he would get more comfortable.

And guess what?? As sure as the sun comes up every morning, Little Dude is getting there. Last week, it took minimal prying to get his tiny fingers to loosen their grip on my shirt when I dropped him off. Today....sniff, sniff....he willingly walked through the gate into the play area and only glanced back at me once as if to say...."Ok mama.....we are good here."

I stood there and looked at him blankly as he toddled off to the wooden kitchen set to commence his daily "Iron Chef" competition (with himself) as he does every day at home. My heart broke just a little. One would think the relief of having a stress free drop-off would be a joy. But I couldn't help but think for just a moment....that I wished he was gripping my shirt again. I wished he was needing me just as much today as he did last week.

Sigh....my kiddos are little (both under 4), so I know I have many many "needy" moments ahead of me. But as those days get fewer and further between, I am pretty sure I will find myself growing more and more "needy" in their absence. Needy for their love and needy for their, well....needs. Boy am I gonna be a wreck when it comes close to empty nest time....hope my Big Dude is ready for some large dogs....or goats. I have always kinda wanted some goats....after all, aren't they called "kids"? Ba dum dum! I crack myself up sometimes.

So, go forth (very) young man.....but not too quickly. Or mama just may latch onto your leg and not let go.....