Turns out, this is kinda hard....

Who knew that being your own boss could be so difficult? After a number of years in the corporate world with some amazing, inspiring bosses and some....well, to be kind....not so amazing and not so inspiring ones, I dreamed many a long and detailed dream about what it would be like to be THE head honcho. The one who calls the shots, makes the hours, and gets it done HER way. Having been at this seriously almost a year now...geez....I can say with gusto, that it is tougher than I thought. And right now, I am still just a party of one, making some baby food, blogging some blogs, and trying to build a brand. I don't even have anyone to compromise with, negotiate with, or go head to head with.

Well, no one that is, that works for me...or is over 3ish feet tall.

As it turns out, I still have 2 tiny humans that I work FOR....Sweet R and Mr B.

When I decided to go after At First Bite officially, one of the primary drawing points, was that I would be able to be a "work at home" mama, spending valuable hours at home with my littles while still having a project to keep me challenged (as if raising two littles isn't challenge enough....) and to be very honest, so that I wouldn't have a big old honking blank spot on my resume when/if I choose to return to the corporate world sometime down the road. And yes, these motivations are still critical to what I am doing here, but the balancing act is a bit more difficult that I had envisioned in my mental business plan.

Each day in the shower....you all know that is where we do our best thinking....I plan out my day, hour by hour. I divide up the business time, the kiddo-only time, the multi-tasking time, and if I am particularly ambitious, some "domestic goddess" time (please note the use of sarcastic quotations here...). In my mind, each segment of time is divided off in a different color with a solid bold line around it. In reality, the segments are varying shades of gray (no...not quite 50 shades...) with blurry dotted lines around them. Inevitably, I slap my own hand when I pick up my iPhone when it should be "kiddo-only" time and flick my own fingers when I find my browser magically ended up on my personal Facebook page when I should be planning the puree menu for the week. For someone who has always prided herself on being intrinsically motivated (how bout those vocabulary words?), I kinda suck sometimes at keeping on task.

Also, I have always known that I was a competitive person, but this whole small business ownership thing, has taken that to a whole new level. I look at other mamas who are out there doing the same thing I am (not necessarily pimping baby food, but you know what I mean....), and for every success I hear about, I am thrilled for a moment, and then I start to kick myself. Why did I not do that? How do I reach that point? What opportunity did I miss out on? Constantly assessing what I am doing right....what I am doing wrong....where my priorities lie.

And admittedly, I am a product of the "I want it NOW" generation. The mentality that seems to be so rampant in our society is hard to get away from when you are building a small business. Success takes a LONG time. I have watched enough "Shark Tank" to know that successful enterprises are not built over night. Or even over a year....or five. Growth is growth no matter how small and setbacks happen. This has been the hardest for me for sure....by a mile. I get antsy real quick when it comes to making things happen so this whole "one step at a time" thing,  and I, we are still working on becoming friends.

Funny how life works....So often the things we are most passionate about and the things that give us the most energy are  also the things that completely drain us. Mentally, emotionally, intellectually. But the way I see it, that is a good thing. It means we care enough to fight for their success.

I have no way of knowing where At First Bite will be a year from now....5 years from now. And by all means, I am stoked for the ride. But as difficult as this has been  in so many ways, I feel we are already a success. In my eyes, I have made a dream come to life. We may not yet be a household name, but we have a name. We may not yet be worth beans in the scope of big business, but it has been worth it. We may not yet have made our big move, but we are on the move. And those are ALL good things.

I promise not to use this blog as a venting board, but whether you are in small business mode or not, I feel like my sentiments can apply to so many things in this life, so I wanted to share. So, keep swimming, keep working, and keep dreaming my friends. We only get one shot at this...